CC & NJ Guy

Scary Christmas Traditions

• Keny, Louis, Tom • Season 3 • Episode 92

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Think Christmas is only lights, cocoa, and cozy sweaters? We pull back the tinsel to reveal the darker folklore beating under the season: Krampus with his chains and birch rods, Belsnickel testing children in fur and grit, and La Befana gliding in on Epiphany Eve with gifts and old-world warmth. From Wales’ Mari Lwyd—yes, the singing horse skull at your door—to Iceland’s man-eating Yule Cat for those without new clothes, these winter legends carry real bite.

We connect the dots across cultures to show why the cold months invited stories that enforced community rules and soothed collective anxieties. Krampusnacht sits beside Saint Nicholas Day like shadow and light. Greek Kallikantzaroi goblins bring gremlin energy to the Twelve Days. Ukraine’s Christmas spider spins a gentler origin for tinsel, while Catalonia’s Tió de Nadal turns a log into a candy “pooper,” part absurdist joy, part ritual reward. Even Sweden’s towering Gävle Goat plays cat-and-mouse with arson and tradition, proving folklore lives as much in spectacle as in story.

Through humor and history, we ask what these myths were really for. Fear-based parenting once used monsters to shape behavior; today’s “Santa is watching” is the softened sequel. Yet modern festivals—Krampuslauf to SantaCon—still turn streets into stages where communities negotiate chaos and cheer. By embracing the spooky edges of winter, we see why Christmas was never purely safe or simple; it’s a living tapestry that holds both consequences and compassion.

Join us for a fast, funny, and thoughtful tour through the holiday’s shadowy corners, then tell us your favorite strange tradition. If you enjoy the show, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review—it helps us grow, bring on more guests with our new video setup, and make even better episodes for you.

Hosted by: Cottman, Crawford & The Jersey Guy
Contact us: CCandNJGuy@gmail.com
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SPEAKER_07:

Everyone thinks Christmas isn't cozy until you learn some places have a horned demon that shows up the night before St. Nick to punish kids. Live from the Crawford Studios, it's CC and NJ Guy.

SPEAKER_02:

What's up?

SPEAKER_07:

Scary Christmas. What's going on? Scary Christmas, man. So this episode, we're gonna be doing a little differently. Oh, yes. So we're gonna talk a little bit about some spooky Christmas stuff. Some weird Christmas stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

So and I'm gonna thank Creepy Crawley for it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. On their on their channel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And her other channel, Madness Monster. Yeah. She just keeps bumping them out. That's awesome. That is great. So I was like, it would be a good idea for us to do this as well. Yeah, nope.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm with it, bro. Let's make you happy. You know? Good to go.

SPEAKER_07:

So what do you got for us? So now, so like here's here's all right, here's a rundown. So people think, you know, Santa, but there's like an expanded Santa universe. All right. This is where it gets this is where it gets wild. So, right? So there's like kind of like so like you got like Krampus, right? That's the most famous one, right? You know, he's your horned figure, you know, you've seen they may have to have the movie about him. Even uh Spear Halloween's got like the horned one, you know, with the it's from the movie, but crazy. That was a cool flick, though. But he, you know, he he punishes naughty kids, you know. Santa's for the nice kids, and Krampus is for the bad ones. So nice, yeah. So instead of getting so old, you're getting kicked in the teeth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Sounds good. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_07:

So and now there's also he's this is that so so Krampus was from the Alpine regions, and then you have like Germany and Pennsylvania Dutch, I believe in Bel Bel Schnickel. And Belschnickel is a fur clad, very similar. Checks on the kids, scares them, tests them, rewards them, punishes them. So it's a little different. They do a number of different things, huh? Yeah, yeah. And then you got La Belfana. Hey, it's La Belfana from Italy, all right? Ha! I couldn't help myself. I see that. What is it? That's an Italian. So it's a witch-like gift bringer uh on Epiphany Eve. So a little different from Christmas, which is January 5th. Right. So that's like three kings in Spanish. It's a nice palate cleanser after all those heavy demons.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. That's funny. Yeah. That's funny. Because that's that falls in the same as uh three kings for Spanish. Dia de Roger. That's right on there, too. That's funny.

SPEAKER_05:

There's so many different holidays that are coming out after Christmas, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Yep. Yeah. Little Christmas. That's funny, though, bro. That is funny. That is freaking hilarious, bro. Crazy. That was a good Italian uh.

SPEAKER_07:

So yeah, so those are like three different. La Bafana, hey.

SPEAKER_02:

You guys are gonna get beat up.

SPEAKER_07:

Or is it an Italian American? Ah, I forgot about it.

SPEAKER_05:

Hey, yo, go bufano leader. I'm not saying something, something's gonna happen to us later.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. Nothing like that.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, so hilarious, but yeah, so so here's uh interesting one. Is it's like, why is Caroling so threatening? Yeah, dude, like I understand that. That's crazy. So the stuff that is technically festive that looks like uh like a horror cold open, right? So this is in Wales. Mary so this is called this one's called m Mary Liew Liewind. It's a horse skull on a pole under a sheet, right? Goes door to door with a group, and you basically sing off and or or d deny or allow entry. So like, yeah, it's like a weird like like tradition, like a horse, like a skull on a pole or something like that. Yeah, in Wales. That's like a Welsh thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's a weird like tradition during that that they do during Christmas time. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's still done today or not.

SPEAKER_02:

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, they still do they do have a Krampus parade in that part of the world, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They do that. They have the whole thing. They are dressed up and it's scary stuff, man. When you see what they and it looks real too, it's like, wow, that stuff is not.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Well, again, but you and I that's probably what's the craziest, bro, is because it's that kind of spooky. Right. Like it's like they forgot that Halloween already passed. Yeah. And they just like bring it all together.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, like I guess that's what it says here, you know, that that that's the bad Santa in a sense. That's crazy. This is what you're gonna get. Yeah, I think that's what it is. That's what happens to them? What happens to the to these people after they experience uh a confrontation with this being, supposedly? Can anyone say? Does anyone say that? What happens when the when the uh so in other words, are they done? Is that it? Uh do they are they brought back? Does he take them? Does Krampus aren't alive people, is what you're asking? Is he alive? Or does he take them with him? He t he probably takes them with him because he doesn't say he goes.

SPEAKER_02:

He doesn't even say where where he's taking him if he even does take him. See, like, so let's do this. Right, right, yeah. Does Krampus Is it Krampus or Krampus? Krampus.

SPEAKER_07:

Krampus. It's funny because the word Krampus, he sounds like it's like cranky, like a Krampus. Wow. He's so cranky, a Krampus. Well, in the movie was a little bit weird. So all right, so here's the short version, all right? If you're naughty, Santa doesn't skip your house, Krampus shows up instead, right? Right. The classic Krampus punishment. Different regions tweak to different legends, but the core hits, all right? So whipping with birch rods. Okay, wonderful. So he whips you like with birch, like you know, yeah, like like a little snake, like kind of like uh does he cane you like Singapore?

SPEAKER_06:

What the hell?

SPEAKER_07:

So, like, so like, yeah, that's ooh, that's like mean. Can you imagine? Just like so, it's like also symbolic punishment, like fear-based behavior. So, like, it's supposed to be like, you know, uh think like midieval timeout, not modern, like uh, you know what I mean? It's like it's really bad, you know what I mean? It's not like uh it's not like no CPS approved discipline. You know what I mean? It's you know, you're getting whipped with like it.

SPEAKER_02:

So sticks. Dr. Google says, Oh, yeah, the anti-Saint Nicholas comes with a chain and balls. Yeah, I was just gonna say the chain, yeah, right, along with a bundle of birch sticks, like you said, he then holds the bad kids down to the underworld. So that's what he takes to keep why I was getting there.

SPEAKER_07:

So he brings you, he drags your ass down to wherever, and yeah. And he and he stuffs them in a basket or sack. Like, so like you know how Santa's got a sack full of presents while Krampus has got a sack full of bad kids.

SPEAKER_02:

Fantastic. Bro, you know, I want to know who really tells me from. Well, I'm trying to figure out who the fuck is that. I think it's right. Like, who tells their kids Krampus is gonna come and trick it no? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

It's that kind of region in Europe.

SPEAKER_02:

But dude, they can't be that kind of mean, dude. Like, seriously. Like, there's gotta be some really badass kids to come up and tell them.

SPEAKER_05:

Do you have embrace of the shit in certain places in that part of the world? I guess, yes.

SPEAKER_07:

But hey, that's the culture, you know. You you can't really So there's different versions. I'm reading them right now. Okay. So, you know, he takes you to hell or the underworld.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, the underworld, right?

SPEAKER_04:

Uh, in some versions he eats you.

SPEAKER_07:

Right. Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

That's always nice. So it's has in other versions he drowns kids. Oh, wonder. Drowns and bro.

SPEAKER_02:

That's easy way, is it? Dude, yeah, this is way horror. This is like we should have done this shit for Halloween. No. Oh, because Krempus is like.

SPEAKER_05:

No, we need to know this. I didn't know this part of uh Yeah, I don't even know this because I'm not sure. I didn't know about Krempus until like just recently, like a few years back when that movie came out. Never even heard of it. Never even knew anything about it. And then great.

SPEAKER_02:

See, now see I'm dropped.

SPEAKER_07:

And then, you know, or he just or he just hauled you straight to hell, you know, where they all. Okay. No. I think in all three of those, you still go to like you get eaten and then you go to hell. Right. You drown and then you go to hell. Or you just get dragged to hell, you know. Dude, yeah, you're going to hell. He's got the chains. And you know what's funny? The the animatronic, he had you that's the sound effect you hear the like the chains like clinking. Dragging. Instead of like, you know, Santa with his bills. Yeah, you got to get away. Well, that was in the movie, but in the movie, you hear him walking too, though. Yeah, you hear that speaking. But he had hoofs. He has hoofs, yeah. Yeah, he's got big fat hoofs. Like a minotaur card. So you can hear it on the floor.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm just saying, Kate. I'm out. Yeah. Out, dude. You can't you can't hide from him. I'm going. I don't care. I'm looking at the case. So you saw the movies, you saw the movie, he comes and he finds, he knows where you are.

SPEAKER_07:

So Krampus actually has a specific holiday. It's called Krampusnot. Okay. Uh, and that is December 5th. December 5th. Yeah, that's already passed, though. So I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02:

I thought you said January 5th for some reason. December 5th. Yeah. So it passed around. So it passed it.

SPEAKER_07:

So we're good. How many days are we? We're safe. We're safe this year. Well, we're we're not kids. He only eats kids. So we're all right. We're old. So and that's the night before St. Nicholas Day, because there's actually a St. Nicholas Day, not observed in the United States, obviously, but St. Nicholas Day is apparently December 6th.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, there it is, but it's only by those who are religious. Oh, okay. You know. I knew people growing up who would celebrate that day. Oh, really? I I didn't even know that was like if you're cannot be super ultra-religious, Roman Catholic, whatever. Really? Yeah. Never, ever, ever. Yeah. Ever, ever.

SPEAKER_07:

Ever. So yeah, and Crampus Krampus handles all the discipline. He's a disciplinarian of the uh holiday. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, I don't I don't know what to say disciplinarian.

SPEAKER_05:

It's more like S and M, right?

SPEAKER_02:

No, wait.

SPEAKER_04:

S M.

SPEAKER_05:

But it has that aspect in a sense. You know what I mean? Like the whipping.

SPEAKER_04:

Wait, there's no M bar, though.

SPEAKER_05:

It's just S. Yeah, you're right. Get rid of the M. All right, the M is gone.

SPEAKER_02:

Puts on a leather mat in the back. You get the zipper. Oh yeah. He's grabbing somebody. Putting the ball gag in their mouth. Wrapped it. Yeah. All right. Lou, we were going nowhere near that.

SPEAKER_03:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02:

Thanks. Thanks, Lou.

SPEAKER_06:

This shit just went like that. I just got a great idea for an SM club.

SPEAKER_00:

Who caught the Krampus Club?

SPEAKER_08:

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_06:

The Krampus Club. No, bro.

SPEAKER_02:

You guys. Oh man, that's great. Yeah. That is great. That is funny. Yeah, it went from Maybe Christmas to because all that whipping, you know, and chains.

SPEAKER_03:

And you know, I'm like, all right, well, you gotta extend it.

SPEAKER_02:

Don't put your dick down, Tom.

SPEAKER_04:

He's gonna hit a button. The wall's gonna turn around. That's not my thing, man.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm good without that. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03:

No, but that's weird, though.

SPEAKER_05:

But that there's like a bad part of it.

SPEAKER_07:

So, but so Krampus, you know, the the lore of him has a purpose, right? So Krampus was wasn't like just a monster, he was a fear-based parenting tool. Right. Kind of like kind of like the way people use Christmas. Kind of the way the people use Santa now. It's like you won't get present. Right. Santa's watching you. Can you imagine? Oh my god. Can you imagine though, if like your parents are like, instead of saying Santa's watching you, Krampus is watching you.

SPEAKER_05:

Bro, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

Every every child in in in in you know, whatever country, you know, like uh Netherlands or whatever. Right, right, right, right, they all must have PTSD. They got Krampus.

SPEAKER_05:

They got Krampus, Krampus all over them. Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

But Lou has a good one, bro. I think that might be the new wave, bro. Krampus on a shelf. Krampus on a shelf. Instead of having a shit. Put it on a shelf in the morning. They'll be in comfort. What the f I want Krampus? Had the elf on a shelf be one of Krampus's kids that he took, like that's his snitch. Oh, now you're getting dark.

SPEAKER_05:

Put him in a in a red naked chokehold. To Krampus, just say choking his ass out.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Well, like, okay.

SPEAKER_07:

So like you got Krampus, right? Right. On a shelf. But like, so but Elf on a shelf isn't Santa on a shelf. So does Krampus have like like minions? That's what I'm saying. It would be the kids.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, maybe the kids they turn into minions. He had little like trolled things in the movie. True. So then that might have been the kids that he had taken. Possibly. And that the kids are now his minions, his elf. True. So his helpers, in a sense? Yeah. They get they're the ones who helped drag the kids back into the bags and down into the underworld that are acting up.

SPEAKER_07:

Ooh. So and and so and Krampus is another, you know, there's so many examples in in modern like Christian traditions that like is a leftover from like pagan. And he was like a pagan winter spirit, and he kind of just got lumped into like kind of like Yule is kind of part of Christmas and all that. And it's proof that Christmas was never originally cozy and safe. You know what I mean? Like it wasn't like there was there was a dark side to Christmas that was celebrated for a while. I don't know if people actually still celebrate it. What's that? Like Krampus, the Krampus Knox or whatever.

SPEAKER_05:

I've seen videos on uh social media being celebrated, I believe, in certain parts of the world. Oh, so not here in the States.

SPEAKER_04:

But I wonder if people still tell their kids. That's not saying that it's not.

SPEAKER_07:

You don't know. But I wonder if in those countries people still like threaten their kids with like Krampus. Krampus is gonna eat. Oh, you should be fucking cramped. Krampus is gonna whip you with their foot in your ass.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, for real. Yeah, dad was crampus, mom was Krampus.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I got you, kid. You're gonna have a Krampus in your ass, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Get your ass a bed. Holy shit, yeah. Fucking it. You'll find out the fool in your bed. Like we say, ni to what is my.

SPEAKER_07:

So basically it was like Santa equals reward. Right. Krampus equals consequences.

SPEAKER_05:

It makes you know conic.

SPEAKER_07:

Makes sense. So, okay, so here's some uh stuff. Right? What Krampus is mainly today. So there are Krampus Lof festivals, grown adults in nightmare masks getting drunk and chasing people. So that's always fun, you know. You know, right? So you mentioned that earlier. That's kind of like, you know what that's kind of like? That's like evil SantaCon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like like, you know how Santa Con, I and if you're ever in New York for SantaCon, that is just like uh it's I you know anywhere. Santa Con? Yeah. Oh my gosh. So in New York, I don't know if it passed already. I went, we we had tickets to a show and it was during Santa Con. So everybody just dresses up as Santa gets drunk and goes bar hopping and they bought as Santa, yeah. I saw that. So so all over New York City, it just it's easy to spot the drunk people because they're dressed like Santa. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Some people dress as elves and other stuff. And you know what, bro? I don't remember what Santa Con if it even happened this year yet. I don't know. Because I know last year on the news or something. Last year it was cold as hell, and guys and girls alike were dressed so skimpy that I'm like, yo, that's frostbite right there.

SPEAKER_07:

Plus bar hopping, staying in one bar.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but dude, man, they were staying in one bar. They were outside, they're hanging out, walking to the next bar and shit, they're hopping on the subways. Yeah, nah, listen, bro. Yeah, and it gets crazy. But you're right, bro. That that SantaCon is insane. You know?

SPEAKER_07:

Krampus still lives in horror movies, uh metal bands, of course. Because, you know. Yeah. How could you not? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And honestly, any anti-capitalist uh Christmas icon is they use Krampus, you know. I'm sure hilarious, bro. That is so frankly.

SPEAKER_02:

I've never, and it's like Lou said, I never really paid any attention to it back in the day. Never even knew about it. I thought it was like, you know, like just I can admit that. I'm sorry, I never had a clue. Yeah, no. Now, not growing up, not as a kid. No. I heard about it in maybe my mid-20s.

SPEAKER_05:

All I knew was if you were bad as far as the cold Christmas thing with Santa Claus, you got coal in your stock. Right. That was the extent of it. Never this came later on when it when the movie came out than I knew about it. And then of course, you look it up and you say, wow, I didn't realize this existed.

SPEAKER_02:

Did anybody ever do that to you? They put coal in your uh in your stocking just to message you not in your Nora. How about you, Tom? Did they ever message you and put coal in your stocking? No. Yeah. I try to remember I want to see.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, you know what we got when you're I think? I don't even think I was a kid though. I think like Tara and I did it as a joke. They made uh like jelly beans that were like coal jelly beans. And it says like a box of coal. Like sacks. I think they were licorice. Black liquor, typical black jelly beans. They were just black jelly beans in like a sack that said, you know.

SPEAKER_02:

That's hilarious, bro. Sack of coal or something like that, you know. That is so funny. Holy shit. So Yeah, no, bro. Listen, I I I never would have thought to be that kind of to use crumpus or or anything like that kind of serious to tell, say, oh yeah, if you guys aren't good, you know, to say anything outside of you're gonna get a, you know, a lump of coal in your in your stocking. Not to say crump is coming to take you down to the underworld and yada yada yada. Like that was that would have been super extra. Like that's kids going to bed crying. Yeah, yeah. Like that's on another level of shit. It's another crazy one. Well, go ahead, Tom. You want to go ahead?

SPEAKER_07:

Is that right? Uh-huh. Yeah, I'll go. Yeah, okay. So there's there are three other monsters. Okay. Are we gonna go there or no? Yeah, I was gonna talk about the Icelandic. Oh yeah, I'm Yule Cat. That's what I'm on the same. Oh, okay. Where are you? Go for it. All right. So the Icelandic Yule cat is a giant cat that eats people who don't eat who don't get who don't get new clothes before Christmas Eve. Or in versions that's or or in some versions messes with their food. But like, okay, that's kind of messed up. Right. So, like, oh what's if you can't afford new threads? You're you're gonna get eaten by a giant.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Well, no, because that's your birthday suit, so it's an old suit. Well, yeah, well, at least you can get away with it because it's your birthday suit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's kind of cold up there.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, like it is.

SPEAKER_07:

But like, that's like almost like classist. It's like, oh yeah, you gotta have new clothes, you're not at that level, so if you're not, you're gonna get you're gonna get killed.

SPEAKER_02:

Gotta work hard and I don't I don't like that one.

SPEAKER_05:

How do you pronounce this next one? Oh, yeah, I don't know that either. That's like Kalikantazoro.

SPEAKER_07:

Okay, I'm gonna try pronouncing this. It's Greek. It's calikantasauro. Can wait, ha ha ha. This is terrible. I am sorry who were listening to this and letting me chop this up. Kalikantazaroi. Zori. Okay, all right. It's uh that's Greek. If you're Greek, you are probably like uh face palming right now at my horrible. Anyway, there's moron. Yeah, for real. Anyway, mischievous goblins that show. Up during the 12 days of Christmas. January 25th and January 6th. I mean December 25th to January 6th. Could cause chaos. Okay. Cause chaos. So they're just like, oh, so they're like Gremlins. Yeah. There you go. They're like Gremlins. That's another Christmas movie just in it. Yes. And remember last episode, I was like, someone answered me on one of our social media threads because I was like, there was another movie tower, and I watched them like that's a Christmas. It was Gremlins. That was I mentioned that. There you go. That's the other Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_05:

I remember them throwing shit around. They had the Christmas hat on and everything.

SPEAKER_02:

They were bugging out. So now we know they were from Greece.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, maybe, maybe they they just they they wanted to make it more sound more mystic, so it was like always from ancient China. Yeah, you know, like, but actually it was Greek. Can you imagine if they went with it and it was like a Greek guy? Maybe some of them. But then that's true.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah. Okay. They could have worked. He could have been imported from the put a little index on it. You know, me with the cuts and the deep guts. Oh my god. Yeah, it's great. But yeah, bro, like I said, so gremlins, little trolls or whatever from Greece.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's very mischievous. So then I wonder if that, but it doesn't say if if they were because the kids were acting up that they uh turn around and and that's what happens because the kids were acting up so that they would have these the the gremlins show up.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't say specify.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Well we didn't really look into it much. But what about perchin' fra perchda.

SPEAKER_05:

Fra perchda or f perch and perch. Perchent traditions. Alpine, winter figure tied to reward punish vibes, modern.

SPEAKER_07:

So he's kind of like he's like Krampus and Santa. Yeah, one. So this is a different this is the way they look at it or celebrate it. Oh, so he this guy so it's like a big deal in Austria. In Austria, right. So so this is a European thing for sure. So this so this character, it sounds like, is a he's a Santa and a Krampus at the Santa in one.

SPEAKER_05:

So if you're good, he takes care of you. If you're not he's sending you in the other bag.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right. You're going in the sack and you're going down to the deep, deep darkness. That's insane, bro. Yeah, I I and listen, uh only until like Lou said recently that I paid any attention to any of this stuff, you know what I mean? And there's a lot, yo, bro, there's a lot of different things that people celebrate. Could you imagine though?

SPEAKER_05:

We're not the only ones on the planet that's not. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's what I meant. Like I was like kind of backing you up and saying, there's so much we don't even know about. Yes, a gazillion percent, bro.

SPEAKER_07:

Yes. But I'm like, what? Could you imagine like like bringing your kids to the mall? And Santa's like, have you been a good boy this year? Well, actually I have, and he just takes you over and takes like a birch, like like a stick and just starts wipe, just hitting you.

SPEAKER_02:

No, the parents are turning on like, well, he hasn't been too good, Santa. And then Crumper steps from behind the the chair.

SPEAKER_06:

All of a sudden you hear the chains and the hoofs. Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

See the birch hand come out with the Santa Claus birch hand come with the birch. Oh my god. Yeah, the birch spec switch. Oh my god, bro. Kids would be losing it. Kids will be losing it. Yeah. Bro, you know what?

SPEAKER_07:

They wouldn't go leave, they would they'd like hold on to the wall.

SPEAKER_02:

Like going, we're gonna go take pictures with Santa. No! It's bad enough now, kids bug out, taking going to sitting on a regular Santa Claus's lap. So please always been like that. That's what I'm saying. So imagine if it's Crumpus. No, Santa, she, he, they haven't been doing good. They've been acting up, they've been doing blah, blah, rah, rah. And man, that's it. Crumpus comes out of nowhere. So you've been a bad boy, a bad girl. You know, you haven't been eating your vegetables. Yeah. Reaches over, trying to grab the kid. Right. Kid is reaching for shit that isn't there to go.

SPEAKER_05:

Because people pull out a gun and shoot.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, they would kill it, but I think it'd be fantastic.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, no, well, if the parent was looking to do it for a therapy thing, meaning, you know, they have set up.

SPEAKER_02:

The kid's gonna need therapy.

SPEAKER_05:

She's gonna be they're gonna be good after that. That's for sure. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, that would be insane.

SPEAKER_05:

You'll get the uh, you know, child services called on.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you're right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_05:

It'll be a whole big mess.

SPEAKER_02:

That would be so freaking great. Yeah, you know what? I didn't have to go to the mall tomorrow and uh, hey guys, so I had this idea. Put it put up the sign first, and like, you know, parents, you know, we have crumpus in the back if you want to come through and make sure your kid is good for the holidays. Man, that would be fantastic. I know there's a handful of parents that would bring that shit out too. Like, yeah, bring them up.

SPEAKER_07:

So there there's some other so there's some other weird traditions, right? In different countries. So, like, all right, so in Ukraine, they have something called the Christmas spider. It's a Christmas like web with ornaments and like folk tale, often connected to why tinsel exists in parts of Ukraine, spider ornaments and known traditions. So it's like spooky vibes. This isn't like scary. This is more like this stuff's got more like spooky vibes to it. Like, that's pretty cool though. It's like there's like a whole like story of how tinsel. I mean, so I we we never put tinsel on the tree, on the Christmas tree. I know some people did. Yeah, a long time ago. A long time ago. My parents did. But like, so this is supposed to be like that's pretty cool. It's like, oh, there's a special like Christmas spider that like that makes the tinsel the tinsel. Wow.

SPEAKER_05:

That'd be like sci-fi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

So that's like more spooky vibes, not like scary. Yeah. Spooky is like, you know, like macabre type shit. Right, right, right, right. You know, skeletons and spiders.

SPEAKER_02:

Having a spider that makes the tinsel, that would probably be something like got a nightmare before Christmas or something like that. Yeah, right, exactly.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, that'd be more fun than actual scare. And that's a Christmas thing now, too. All the time. It's on all the time before Christmas.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I haven't even seen it yet, bro.

SPEAKER_05:

I did. I watched it uh a couple nights ago. Yeah, I gotta watch. I gotta see it. Good stuff. I gotta see it. My head is blue from the sun.

SPEAKER_07:

So there's another. So there's another one in Catalonia. It's Teod. Excuse me, I'm gonna chop this up. Teo de Nada. De Nadal. Okay, yeah. You can say it better than me. Uh Christmas. Oh. Wow. A little Christmas log. So many jokes for that, too. You know, that's like so it's like the Yulog, but smaller. It's that you feed. Wait, oh wait, it's a it's a little Christmas log that you f that you feed, then kids beat it, and it pops. Oh, so it's like a it's like oh wow. It poops. It poops. It poops. Gifts candy. Absurd, funny, and a little oh that is just weird.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, you see? So that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_07:

So you feed him and he just like and he shits candy.

unknown:

What?

SPEAKER_02:

You beat it and it shits candy. Bro, that is just like come on, man. That is why what who comes up with this shit? Exactly. They did it because they fed that shit. That's like the log. Oh my god. That's why I was laughing when it said the log. You're right with a couple of things. How did how did that I I don't even know.

SPEAKER_07:

Like, that's just like that's so random.

SPEAKER_02:

That's crazy. It's a little log. So when you said little Christmas log, I'm laughing because I'm like, eh. And that gets a log. You know, I just left the log of a bowl. But then you're beating it, bro. But you gotta beat it. What do you beat it with? It's like, well, I'm guessing a stick or something.

SPEAKER_05:

I hope so.

SPEAKER_02:

And then it poops candy.

SPEAKER_05:

But it poops candy. So it's kind of like it's kind of like a pinata.

SPEAKER_07:

Right, but the pinata. You've got to like hit it in the stomach. So it like. Well, we don't even know what the thing looks like. This is fucking like, all right, I'm getting dark with the stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05:

Not you.

SPEAKER_07:

This got dark, bro. I know, I know.

SPEAKER_05:

That's crazy. Yeah, but does a pinata poop candy?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, if you hit the right spot, then bottom gives out. Is that called? I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_05:

I didn't even know that term existed for that.

SPEAKER_02:

Dude, that's no, we're saying piñata. We're saying we're calling a pinata.

SPEAKER_05:

I know, but it's the same kind of concept. Yes. That's that is. Are you hitting it? Candy's coming out. You're hitting this thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and then, you know. Same thing's happening. You just gotta put fill it up with chocolate. I'm gonna look that. Or she kisses like this little shit. The log will not poop your candy. Yeah, for real. You're not getting shit out of this log. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

Yo, there are just bananas.

SPEAKER_05:

What's this next one, though, here?

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, so that's a Sweden, right? Right. Gov. Gavley Gavale goat. Right. Gavale goat. A giant straw goat built yearly that famously gets targeted by arson vandals to the point of basically part of a modern legend. So it's like a so basically it's a straw goat that people just light on fire. Yeah. Okay. But people, but like, like they build this and like people just like.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

People are like, we're going there tonight and burn.

SPEAKER_02:

We're gonna burn the shit down. Meanwhile, everybody's already there. Trying to light the one?

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, sorry, we'll go to the other side. Yeah. Something the locals. I'm assuming there'll be more than one because if if if it's a tradition, oh you know, everybody's gonna do it, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, it would probably be everybody going over there for the bonfire. That would be the tradition. Right. And then, you know, they got the one dude, like the mayor of the town or whatever, that's gonna be the one to actually light it. Right. You know, or I mean if it's gonna be something like that, you know. I don't know, who knows? That's bananas, dude. We won't know. That is some crazy, crazy shit, man. Those are those are weird. That's that's I I never thought.

SPEAKER_05:

That that whole idea, it's obviously it's demonic in a sense. Right. Right. Right? It's bringing you down to a dark place for whatever means necessary as far as what they're gonna make you do. Right. You know, because obviously you're gonna be punished and you're gonna be tortured there for the rest of your life. You know, so you didn't even have to die right to go there.

unknown:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

You brought your ass alive down there. Yeah, yep. And then you turn into a ghoul. Now you know that's a control or whatever. How do you know that though? Except I'm going back what the movie was. Oh, you think so? Yeah. Because I mean that was he didn't have any real minions, he didn't I mean any uh elves and shit. So I mean I'm just gonna say, you know, that's probably what he has to do with the kids, because I mean what else you're gonna do with them? It's not like you're not making toys, so you're not using them for real elves. Right. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05:

Who knows? Or it's just cr the Krampus somehow, you know, maybe you know, uh whoever's gonna be bad.

SPEAKER_02:

That's insane. I tell you, but I guess I I don't I wouldn't I don't know if I would ever have been able to scare my kids with that. We should do the Krampus on the Shelf, man. Krampus on a shelf. I think that's a that might be the money maker right there, dude. Right. You never know. Yeah, Krampus on the Shelf. Yep. Yeah. And just pop them up, says Krampus on the shelf.

SPEAKER_05:

You got Elf on the Shelf. But now you know the Elf on your shelf, you can have a boy or a girl, I think, now. Well, elf is no, yeah, there's a well I'm saying I always thought when it was elf on the shelf, it was always the one that you always saw that everybody had. I mean So my granddaughter has Elf on the Shelf and it's a girl elf. So oh, I didn't know this.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's whatever you want it to be. We could put our faces out.

SPEAKER_05:

Gotcha, you know. I first of all, what that was not part of my generation. The elf on the shelf thing. That never existed. That was nowhere exists, and not even my kids. Yeah. And if it did, it came probably after the fact.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I didn't know stuff on the elf on the stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

But that's kind of creepy too, though, because there's things jumping around, yeah. Well, it's it's just the shit that's watching you.

SPEAKER_02:

They always get in trouble, is going through stuff, you know. Yep. The shit that's watching you. I think that's what the crazy part is, bro. That it's the idea now is of things that are watching you to make sure that you're being good. That's where the spooky shit is. You know what I mean? That's the real scary stuff. Yeah. So I don't even think even the the elf. So the elf is sitting there with a grin, and he's just like sitting there.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

He's looking at you. Yeah with a big ass grin, looking at you in your direction. Nah, bro. Either way. You're gonna bug out, man. You're gonna lose your shit. Yeah, the kids are like, oh, have you seen the commercial with Kevin Harding? There's a fucking elf in my room. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Go to bed, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what? Put a little speaker in the elf. And we're like, go to sleep. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Don't get up. That would be that's called liar. I would love that shit. There you go. See, that would be a liar. Again, it's anything that you would want to use, I guess, you know, to make it just scare the shit out of the kids. To just make them good and Kenny's dark, man. What are you trying to say, bro? It's an all-year time. It's an all-year time, bro. No, you know what, bro? You know, it's that for me, Christmas. Thinking about it now where we're sitting here talking about this stuff, Christmas for kids, it's supposed to be fun and jolly and all that other stuff. Right. For us as adults, to turn around and just do some sadistic shit to each other, this is where it's at.

SPEAKER_08:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

This is way cruising. I'm just saying, bro, this is way cool. You know? That I would turn around and put a, you know, crumpus on a shelf, you know? Oh, you mean to torture your kids? No, no, no, to torture my wives. Well, my kids are older than what I'm saying. So, you know, to teach them. I wouldn't even want that thing in my house. But I would I would do it. Like, you know, wife would be like, what the hell is that? I'm like, have you been a good girl? Yo. If you're not good, crumpis is gonna take you away.

SPEAKER_00:

She's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02:

She'd lose it, bro. And then turns it. Krampus, I'm sorry, crampus. Krampus. Krampus. Yeah, Krampus is coming to take you away if you don't good. Crab ass. Crab ass.

SPEAKER_04:

Right? Because it's cramp. Krampus. Krampus. It's a real crampy.

SPEAKER_00:

He walks around going, oh god, cramps. I say yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Interesting how different cultures have different things and how they how they make them, how they come from what or what they come from, I think. I should say.

SPEAKER_07:

It's like I mentioned before, it's you know, it's all from excuse me, all uh parenting. Like, you know, people are just using it as like parenting tools. Right, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, because their kids are uh, you know, install instilling a little fear in them.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, because it was always there, you guys waking up and finding that thing on your shelf.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, bro. Yeah, make sure you were sleeping. Little note right there, you know. But again, it's all the things because think about it. The nicest way that that to make your kid good was to tell them if you're not good this year, and I can bring you anything, you know, you're gonna get a lump of coal in your stocking. Or you know, see how that works.

SPEAKER_07:

Why do you gotta do that?

SPEAKER_02:

Why do you gotta traumatize these kids with crampers? Why to the next level?

SPEAKER_05:

But I guess it already existed, we just didn't know about it.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, right, you're right. It did. It did. And for us, you know, here like we didn't want to be that kind of scary, crazy or whatever, you know. Now, think about it, bro. I mean, we could make jokes all day long about how, you know, kids nowadays aren't what they were when we were kids. Nah. You know? So then now it's like, you know, you basically gotta put the kid in a freaking in a headlock, like, you're not getting nothing for Christmas, you little shit. Go wash them dishes. You know? It it's it's yeah. You gotta kick it up for now.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you know, whatever the parent needs to do, it's their call to scare the living be the Jesus out of them in order to get them to just don't come like blue in SM gear.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, exactly. We don't need that with the whip, with the stick to whip and the chains. It's not an SNM gear. Oh my god, that shit is so freaking funny, bro. That reminds me.

SPEAKER_07:

You know what I can't I can't help but bring this up. When someone says SM, I I always think of remember that show Real Sex? Yes, yes, on HBO. I remember when they were at one of those SNM places, and the woman's just sitting there at her desk and she's like ashing her cigarette into like a gimp's mouth.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh yeah. And they're like, and they asked the guy, and he's like, he's like, how does it feel to uh he's like, he just goes and goes, he has like the most like queens accent. He's like, ashtrays don't talk.

SPEAKER_02:

I was like, yeah, somebody knew who that was. Vito, is that you?

SPEAKER_05:

Bro, they knew who he was. Wow. Steve. That's not cool. Steve, that's that's a very extreme, what do you call it? No, I mean sadism and masochism. Yeah, exactly. No, man. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_07:

Like to get off on some who like get off on giving people pain and people that get off on getting pain. Getting pain, yeah. So here's the case.

SPEAKER_02:

Match made in heaven. So here's where the funny comes in. This is the episode that is coming on on what Christmas Eve? And here we are talking about Krampus and SM. Oh, you dropped the rabbi and the chalice. Ah, bro, you're punished. Yeah, he's got a big thing. That's the uh that's the Holy Grail. Yeah, that's the guy right here. He's right here.

SPEAKER_01:

He's a good person. Cabal is to be proud. Your granddaughter is such a mensch. You must be cabalic.

SPEAKER_02:

There you go. That's funny as hell, bro. Sorry about that. Yeah. No, but that this is gonna be a funny episode, bro. I hope they don't play this episode when they're skipped around. Dude, I it's gonna be. Like just the quiet for stupid shit.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, that was like that's how it seemed in my head, because it's like, you know, you met chains and the hooks and the freaking whips, and I'm like, all right, well, uh Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

That is funny as all get out, bro. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah. Hey, listen, but I'm sure people have SM Christmases, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03:

Stop, no. I'm serious. Bro, because I'm trying not to. Everybody has different, like people celebrate. So instead of like it's freaking planet celebrating celebrating.

SPEAKER_07:

So instead of like like like late, like black latex, do they wear like red and green latex? Red and green, they're like a candle. Like a Christmas sweater, latex Christmas sweater. And you got the red belt. Yo, you know what I mean with the bundle on it.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the light of butt plugs. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06:

Or all the chains are wrapped in Christmas lights. Right. That's what it is. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, Christmas lights. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_06:

See, we're even festive here at the House of Dungeon or whatever it's called.

SPEAKER_07:

House of Pain. Oh, that's well, and I can't think of House of Pain without thinking of the band, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, at Dominitric Diamond. House of Krampus. Yeah, the House of Diamond of Dominitrix Krampus. Krampus.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, that's right. Then we said we can, yeah, that's right. I came up with that name before. House of Krampus, right? Is that what I said? Yeah, you did, yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my god, Mrs. Claws is uh or Mrs. Krampus is the first one.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, she's the mad outfit. Yeah, and saying it'll be like tied up to like one of the reindeer or something.

SPEAKER_02:

She'd be with the stiletto, yeah, coming in there ting with the chains. Yeah. You've been naughty. Oh my God, bro. Listen. I I listen, everybody, have great Christmases. Have a merry Christmas. Holy crap, this because this shit happened out. Yeah, this shit went totally left. We went sideways on this. Sideways. That's good. Holy shit. I like it. That's funny. So it's a good flavor today. Yeah, it was good, bro. This is a good one. That is, yeah, this is to listen to why the parent while the kids are in.

SPEAKER_05:

If you're having a bad Christmas and you're playing this, yeah, hopefully it's a better Christmas.

SPEAKER_02:

While the kids are in bed and you're wrapping up some last year. They deserve a fucking crampus.

SPEAKER_05:

That's what you're thinking about. You're laughing because of all Silly shit was saying.

SPEAKER_02:

That shit is freaking great. Silly bastard. Holy shit. That was so funny. Well, funny to me, anyways. I don't know. Well, we'll find out soon enough. Yeah, people let us know for sure. Like we said, right? Christmas Eve, this comes out. Yeah, um, next time.

SPEAKER_05:

Christmas is on a Thursday, if I'm not mistaken. Right. So it's that one. Okay, so Christmas Eve. So this comes out.

SPEAKER_02:

So while you're wrapping up the last of the gifts, you know, Santa Claus is getting ready to come down the chimney.

SPEAKER_07:

Or if you got us tuned in while you're on trying to find a parking spot in the mall.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Now you get it. That last minute shopping.

SPEAKER_07:

Holy shit, man. Hopefully, this would this our uh SM talk of uh Krampus.

SPEAKER_02:

Christmas SM.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. It went totally in a weird direction. Dude, hell yeah. What you want for you? Wasn't my intention, but that's what I'm saying. Yeah, no, man.

SPEAKER_02:

That's where he took us. That's it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07:

It's gonna be interesting. I can have the videos for this one. Word.

SPEAKER_02:

No shit. It's gonna be fun. Oh my gosh, it could have been pretty cool. Holy shit. Alright, so we got three minutes left, fellas. Yeah, so another year done, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, this is gonna be our last episode. So we did discuss we're gonna start season four. Four.

SPEAKER_02:

So we say the second Friday of January.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah. I think that'll be our first episode of the year. Yeah. So as you know, as you can see, we've been using some new software. So it's it's good, man. It's coming out good. We got we can do more with it now. We you know, we could put stuff up on the screen if we need to. We can do all kinds of fun stuff. We haven't even you know tapped into all the stuff we can do with this yet. So and again, you know, if you're interested in being a guest, reach out to us. We can do video now. So this is gonna be great. Yeah. When we you know absolutely yeah, we have guests on now.

SPEAKER_02:

So this summer coming. I'm gonna well this year coming. Since we have this now, I like to get some of our past guests you know that were able to that was just listening. So we can get them on as well.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, well, they said they were gonna come back, so yeah. Yeah, yeah. That would be full moon paranormal.

SPEAKER_02:

Full moon paranormal have come on like that. Yeah, you know, the other homegirl we had, your friend Tom. Suzanne. Suzanne, yeah, have Suzanne come back on, stuff like that. Arik, that now, you know, we get him to come back in. Yeah. He's been busy though, right? Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I hope he could squeeze us in, bro. Yeah. And too, creepy crowd, because they're getting ready to make a lot of trips this year too. So you know, I mean, yeah, follow them too. You'll find them in our stuff, yeah, yeah. So get in there and yeah. Looking for next year to be a good year, man. So I'm excited. Yeah, can't wait. Yes. So but Christmas is gonna be here soon, Hanukkah. Yeah, so hope everybody has a great holiday, Merry Christmas, happy new year, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and everything else in between. Appreciate everybody for liking and following and watching all our stuff. Thank you for watching. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_05:

I'll see you. Happy New Year, yeah, right. Yes, next year, yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so you said like, follow, pass us on, talk about us. Might have all them buttons. Yes, everything goes. Yeah, all of it. And he said, and pass the word.

SPEAKER_07:

Just like just like speaking of Christmas, just like Butter the Elf did in the elevator to that poor guy.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yes, that's it.

SPEAKER_07:

There you go. That was great, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_07:

So again do that to all the buttons on our social media. Yeah, just hit them over. We appreciate it. Well, really, though. It helps us. It really does. YouTube, socials. All right. I know everybody always says that. Please like, follow, share, subscribe. But like it does help us because we can grow, we can start doing this a lot more.

SPEAKER_02:

So in suggestions, then we make more, you know, just for better content, more content. That's it. Like Tom said.

SPEAKER_07:

So we end up. We want to quit our jobs, so and do this full time. So help us do that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, for sure. And I'm not kidding. Like we really do. Yeah, I want in to I want in.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So with that, thank y'all for listening. Again, happy holidays, love, peace, and hair grease. Live long and prosper.

SPEAKER_07:

And get out those whips and chains.

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Kenny

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Louis

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Tom

Host